Chapter 5: Last Days
(A/N: this will be a short one. Other chapters are already on my lappy wala lang talaga time to post. Salamat po sa lahat ng nagbabasa and nagko-comment! :)) I’m also writing na yung After The Wedding Part 4. After Prelims ko na lang siguro ipopost. Thankieee :))
Every single day I can feel that I’m getting weaker. Chard convinced me to try everything that the hospital can offer to cure me but I dismissed everything. I pleaded him to just let me live as normal as possible. I don’t want to get stuck on my bed and to stay there all of my remaining days. I wanna spend the rest of my life with him, as happy as it can be. I want memories, more memories to treasure and to bring with me in heaven.
He is beside me every minute now. Scared of leaving me even a few minutes. Last night, I saw him crying. Trying his best to control his sobs. I am hurting as well. I am still here with him and yet, I can witness him like this. Devastated. How much more when I’m gone? I cannot bear watch him from heaven like this, even worse than his state now. Lord, please if you’ll take me away from him, give him someone better than me who can make him feel whole again. Please…
Yesterday, I ask Chard to accompany me. I wanna go to the beach, let the cold breeze touch my face. Fortunately, he agreed. We stay side by side, watching the waves crash on the rocks. The sun setting with the light slowly disappearing. The stars lit up, I know one day, I’ll be one of those stars and would watch over my husband. I rested my head on his shoulder and stayed there beside him. I could stay like this with him forever… Only, there is no such thing as forever.
This would be the last entry that I might write here. It is harder for me to write now, even do things that I normally do. I easily gets tired now. I don’t think I will last for few more weeks. I can feel it. The breathing seems like a hard task for me now. I want few more days but I know I’ve been given days that I deserve. At least, I was given few more days to be with the people that I love. I am lucky enough to be able to bid them good-bye.
Love thank you. I am so happy that I’ve experienced living and spending every single day with you. I love you. Please take good care of yourself. Live your life. Promise me that you will. This is not the end for you.. Neither for us, I will remember you and will continue to love you even when I’m gone.
Loving you longer than what forever may give,
That is the last entry of Alex in the notebook. Maya cried harder now, she is also in pain.
She turns again the page hoping for another letter or anything that she might found. And again, there it is. Another letter, the last written there in the notebook. Stained with water.. Or maybe tears.
I belong right beside you. You are my life, how can I live now that you’re gone? Tell me! I am nothing at all. I am alone… Waking up each day without you is the hardest thing ever. Facing each day without you, Love… I am so lost without you. Every night I dream of you..I long for you. I hate it that all that I can do now is to remember you. That is not enough! I don’t know what else to do. If you’re here, you would tell me.. You always know how to ease the pain, how to make me smile.. I love you…please..please… I need you…
Maybe, it is the same thing that Chard is writing down when she saw him on the train. Surely, if Maya will see Chard again, she will hug him tight. He needed comfort. There are no dates on the other entries so she doesn’t know when did Alex died. One thing is for sure though, no matter how long she left him, he is still hurting. He is barely breathing. He is still stuck in the labyrinth of his past.