Chapter 14: The Past: James Ventura
(A/N: as promised. 🙂 happy reading guise. Stay safe)
She is very quiet while on the road with James. She wanted so bad to accept Chard’s offer of having a dinner with her and eventually sending her home. But because she knows that she needed to close one chapter of her life in order to proceed to another chapter, she made a decision not to cancel her dinner with James.
She needed this. A closure.
“Maya, are you okay? You seemed really quiet?” James asked her as soon as he was done ordering.
“Okay lang. Simulan na lang natin, mag-usap na tayo.”
“How about, let’s wait for our food first?” He suggested. He doesn’t want this night to end. Not too soon.
“James, kaysa naman nakatunganga tayo habang naghihintay ng food, pag-usapan na lang natin ang dapat pag-usapan. Kaya nga ako pumayag sa dinner na ‘to para makapagusap tayo di ba?” She said, her voice was louder than was usual. She just can’t help it. She is so annoyed.
“Okay, um.. Sorry, gusto ko lang naman na medyo tumagal pa yung… Yung ito, kasama ka.”
She raises an eyebrow upon hearing this. Here she is talking to the man who once broke his heart. She still doesn’t trust him nor believe everything that he says.
“Ah. Ano bang pag-uusapan?” She asked ignoring what he said
“Well, first, I wanna apologize for-”
“Okay na yun, tapos na yun, matagal na yun. Yun lang ba?” She cut him off before he can get too dramatic. She was badly hurt before and she is still mad at him. She was so sure that she doesn’t love him anymore but it is really hard for her to forget.
“Maya.. I…I know hindi madali magpatawad, and I am sure that I am not yet forgiven. But can you give me chance to just show how sorry I am?” He said with sincerity. He is looking at Maya’s eyes, as he tries to read what’s running in her head.
She heaves a sigh to calm herself. She doesn’t want to lash him with hurtful words, anyway. “James, para saan pa? Anong mapapala mo sa pagkuha ng pagpapatawad ko? I already told you, okay na. Tapos na yon.”
He reached for her hands on top of the table and squeezed it. Maya wanted so bad to remove her hands but when she saw how his eyes mirrors his sadness, she just let him hold it.
“Maya, I… I know you’ll get mad once I blurted this out. But please, hear me first, okay?”
Maya wanted so bad to yell at him and to tell him how dare him ask her how to react. But again, she doesn’t know why but her head automatically moved up and down, nodding to him in approval.
“Thank you. I.. I ju- I …” He stammered. His eyes shuting close for a few seconds as if gathering courage.
“Just say it!” She ordered.
“Okay, I want you back.” He said, his eyes still closed. He doesn’t want to see her reaction. He knows too well that she’ll be shooting daggers at him. But once he opened her right eye, with a few seconds followed by the left eye, he saw her staring at him. Poker faced.
“Look, I know and I realized how stupid I was. I know sobrang laki ng kasalanan ko sa’yo and no words can ever make the pain and those bad memories go away… I don’t have any good explanations about what I did. I know it was wrong. And.. I…” Tears started to roll down his face which he quickly wipe away. “I still love you.. Just please let me show you how much. Kahit pahirapan mo ako everyday, it’s okay. Because I deserve it. Just please Maya, I beg. I love you.” He ended and stared at her.
Maya doesn’t know what to do. She sure hates him, but why does she feels that she want to let him enter her life again? Maybe, she wants to make him suffer. Yes, that is the main reason.
“Okay, sige. Bahala ka.” She answered coldly which made James to smile from ear to ear.
“Thank you! Thank you!” He squeezes her hands tighter. “I promise I’ll make you feel how much I love you and how sorry I am”
As soon as she gets home, her mom asked her questions one after the other. Especially when she saw who sent Maya home. This is what bugs her. Her mother really likes James for her and she doesn’t know why. Well, of course her mom also hated him when he cheated but maybe James convinced her, too that he loves Maya and that he changed.
Anyway, she was happy back then when they are together. James is a sweet, funny and loving guy. And just when she thought that he is not any other guy, she will be proven wrong. Oh how she remembers on how she hated the world when she saw him kissing another girl. That made her world crash.
“Kayo na ba ulit, ‘nak?” Her mom had this meaningful smile on her face
“Ma! Hindi po. Nag-usap lang kami, iyon lang po.” She answered
“O, sige. Nagtatanong lang naman ako. O siya, magpahinga ka na.” She heaved a sigh of relief once her mom went to her room.
Laying on top of her bed, her mind is full with random thoughts. She recalled how she felt giddy whenever Chard is around. She is indeed happy, she is her crush after all. And whatever that Richard is showing her, she is reminding herself not to assume things.
Now, that James is back in the picture, she is puzzled on the reason why she decided to give him a chance to prove himself. Does she still loves him? Heck no! She squeezes the pillow on top of her head as she screams from frustation. How can life be so complicated as this?
Her phone suddenly got a message, and when she lazily reached out for it on top of the bedside table, she smiled upon seeing who texted her in the middle of the night.
Hi, Maya. Are you home already?
She immediately texted back. Her heart is thumping loud.
Yes. I just got home.
She replied. She waited for his reply for a couple of minutes but it never came. Maybe, he’s busy or he dozed off. Whatever the reason is, she is still floating with giddiness with him checking if she is already home.
As she was so close to dozing off to dreamland, she again, heard her phone beeping which made her to sit up and reach for it immediately, hoping that it is another message from Richard. But once she got a hold of her phone, she saw a message from James.
Goodnight, Maya. Sleep tight. 🙂
Her thumb automatically types a reply message. “Goodnight” her reply reads. Somehow, she wanted to send that as well to Richard, but she doesn’t want him to think that she’s getting so annoying. She doesn’t have any idea anyway on why did Richard texted her. But the fact that he did, makes her smile as he lays back to bed.
She slowly lifted up her pillow in order to get the notebook of Alex. She flipped through its pages, she is starting to wonder, does he still loves Alex that much? For sure he does but is his heart still closed from loving someone else?
She drifted off to sleep as her mind wanders and her, hugging the notebook.