The Dying Girl – 2

Hiiii Happy Father’s Day 🙂


 

Page 2


Maya didn’t shed a tear. I am not even surprise because she’s such a brave girl. I am standing at the door of her room watching her as she stares at the wall, sighing every now and then.

 
Beep. “I can wait ‘til early morning.*wink*” I checked my phone and reads a message from the girl I’ve met at the bar. Seriously though am I really that charming? I hid a smile and could feel someone whose attention is on me.

 

 
“What?”

 

 

 

Her chin is rested at her right hand while eyeing me. “You are smiling while reading a message. Richard, if you have somewhere else to go, please don’t let my situation stop you. Enjoy your life.” She’s sincere while saying this but her last words hit the pit of my stomach.

 

 

Should I really enjoy my life while she’s here…Alone.. and who just found out that her ex did cheated on her?

 

 

“Pero alam mo, okay na din na nalaman ko na niloloko nya ko at hindi dahil may sakit ako kaya siya lumayo. At least I hate myself and my sickness a little less.”

 

I took a seat beside her not saying anything. I think she needs someone who can just sit and listen to her.

 

 

“Besides, he can be happy with that girl. Siguro nung nalaman nya na may sakit ako nabawasan yung guilt nya kasi parang tama talaga yung decision nya since I won’t last long and staying with me would end up hurting him.”

 
“Hey don’t say that.” I hate it that she’s pitying herself yet hates it when someone does it. She doesn’t deserve that jerk.

 

 

“Don’t worry, I am fine. You should go matutulog na lang muna ako.” She smiled at me before lying on her bed. I stayed and waited until she drifted off to dreamland.

 

 

And I went home and thought of her.

———————————————

 

Five minutes. I am here for five minutes and yet, she only nodded her head without looking at me when she heard her door flew open indicating my presence. It’s already 7 in the evening on a weekday and Maya is busy writing something on her working table.

 

“What are you so busy about??” I walked right behind where she is seated and peeked at her table to see what she’s busy doing.

 

And as fast as she could, her hands covered the notebook so that I wouldn’t be able to read it.

 

“is that your diary??” I asked, for sure it is.

 

“wag ka magulo dyan! Di pa tapos. Umupo ka muna sa bed, manuod ka ng tv or go play ps4.” She instructed which I obediently did. I don’t want to stress her out so I let her be. Besides she says it is still not yet finished with whatever it is that she’s writing so I guess she’ll somehow share it to me once it’s done.

 

 

I switch through channels until I decided to watch the documentary about alligators, like how strong is their jaw is etcetera. I am learning a lot by watching this documentary on National Geographic and I felt comfortable sitting there not being bothered by anything. Until Maya stood right in front of me blocking my view from the TV.

 

She’s smiling down at me like a sun shining so bright. Geez how can she be this adorable even though it’s already late in the evening??

 

 

“I’m done, Ricky!!” she is now calling me Ricky, and yes we became so close and comfortable at each other that she can call me Ricky, Chard and like hell whatever else she wants to. Any nickname of mine that I don’t even allow anyone else calling me.

 

“Done with what?”

 

She flashes her smile yet again and handed me the notebook that she’s so busy working on. I quickly took it from her and flips through its pages as she is still giving me that expectant smile of hers.

 

Bucket list

Things to do and places to visit with Richard Lim  (NOTE: it doesn’t have to be in particular order btw)

  1. Road trip to Baguio/Sagada
  2. Go island hopping in El Nido, Palawan
  3. Surf in Baler
  4. Camping
  5. Ride a roller coaster (I’m not that brave enough before but now…YOLO)
  6. Date someone (for one night only)
  7. Drive a race car
  8. Watch a concert
  9. Watch a theater play
  10. Do a garage sale (all proceeds go to charity)

 

I re-read it. I am having a hard time breathing. I’ve watched a hell lot of films of someone who’s about to die writing their own bucket list. I might’ve shed a tear by watching those soppy movies. But this? This is different, it is happening in my reality I don’t even want this. I don’t want the idea that she’s doing this because she thinks her clock is ticking and she haven’t lived her life to the fullest.

 

I don’t want to participate in any of this, but what can I do? Say no and make her hate me?

 
“Konti pa nga Yan but I don’t think pwede ako lumabas ng bansa unless it is for me to go to a better hospital in another country.”

 

“I- uh..” I am speechless. I want to cry, but I can’t do that in front of her.

 

 

“I’ve watched The Bucket List kasi kanina in HBO and I realized that ang dami ko pang hindi nagagawa. You know what? Unahin natin yung number 6. I need to date before I lose my hair.” She laughed at her own statement. I don’t even think there’s anything funny at all. How can she be so cool with all of these?

 
“Ricky?? Uy!! Ano?? You know someone na pwede ko i-date? But don’t tell him na I am sick baka matakot di sumipot.” And again, she laughed. What the hell, woman???

 

“are you even sure about this??”

 

“Yes. Wag lang KJ ha? I know I am asking too much of your time, alam ko busy ka din pero ka pero kasi di ako papayagan Pag hindi ikaw ang kasama ko eh. Saka, I am much way more comfortable whenever I am with you.” She grins.

 

“Fine. 7pm tomorrow. He’ll pick you up.”

 

 

“Ha?? Bukas na agad? Nako! Kailangan ko na pumili ng susuotin!! Teka ano hitsura nya?? Wala man lang ba picture?” She asked, excited with the idea of dating again.
I grinned “basta bukas na. I’ll go home so you could choose what to wear and rest afterwards.”

 

 

With a final wave of goodbye, I left Maya as she busily picks up random dresses in her closet.


 

 

“What does he looks like?? Is he nice?”



Maya keeps on texting me the same message the entire day and I only managed to reply once saying that the guy will pick her up at 7 and the place will be a surprise.
But of course being herself, she can’t just stop from bugging me.

 

The thing is, I myself is excited for tonight. I will be her date. I ordered flowers, reserved a table for two in a restaurant in a hotel. And patiently waits for the clock to hit 7 in the evening.

 

To be honest, I have no idea what’s gotten into me. After reading her bucket list of wanting to date someone, I automatically thought of myself having dinner with her. It wasn’t the first time that we will be eating together, but I will make sure that it will be a memorable night for her.

 
I am aware that the more time I spent with her, the more we became close with each other. My mom and friends notice that I no longer go out at night and would often spend my nights with Maya. My mother is happy about this and I am actually genuinely happy whenever I visit her. There’s this positive energy that surrounds her.


 

Her excited face as she walks down the stairs earlier turned into an annoyed one when I told her that I will be her date for tonight. Tita Tere, her mom, was as usual very happy with my idea. She just missed seeing her daughter all dolled up and I couldn’t agree more. I would do anything just to see such beautiful girl as much as possible.

 

 

She is more of like a princess in my eyes right now. Maya is wearing a black dress, minimal make up on, and her hair falls perfectly on her shoulders. Simplicity indeed is beauty.

 

“I hate you.” I’ve been dying to hear her voice again but she didn’t even bother talking to me until I ordered the food in the restaurant.

 

“Why?” I queried as if I didn’t know the answer.

 

“I said I want to date someone but not you.” She rolled her eyes and took a sip from her water. I chuckled at her cuteness.

 
“Well, First of all you clearly wrote there na yung bucket list mo, you will be doing with me..”

 
“Yes but I didn’t say na Ikaw ang kadate ko dapat. Your participation is just to find me a date.” She cut me off, her eyes still glaring at me.

 
“Okay, but still I don’t have friends who are not known to be a player, Maya. I don’t like you dating one.” I said, seriously. And I really wouldn’t let her date anyone else. Darn it.

 

“Wow. Am I not dating one now??” She said sarcastically. One point goes to her again.

 

“Besides, di ba ang exciting na ako naman yung magpapaasa?”

 

“I used to be… I’m no longer like that. And hey, you don’t know my friends. They wouldn’t let you go without getting you laid. Ganun sila kaplayer.”

 

She pouted as if thinking “ooh. So you’re like them.. before??”

 

She added the last word as I kept quiet and she must’ve noticed that I am not in the mood to answer. I don’t even want her to know the answer, somehow I want her to know that I am not a bad guy. That I am capable of loving one girl….

 

Oh! crap where did that came from?? My thoughts these days since the day I met Maya… I don’t know who I am anymore.

 

“Okay lang, you really don’t need to answer. Anyway, thank you for bringing me here. Pati sa pagsakay sa kalokohan ko.” She dont even have to thank me, I am enjoying every second with her.

 

“You’re welcome. So one down!”

 

“Yes, one down.” she smiled ever so sweetly, and from this night I surrendered. I lost this battle, my heart is definitely hers.


 

At exactly eleven in the evening we reach her home. I am staring at her, memorizing her every move. So this is what love feels like, huh?

 
“Thank you ulit, Ricky!!” she spins around and after a moment, I felt her arms engulfing me in a bear hug. My heart started pounding in my chest making known its existence. This is the first time I’ve felt this.

 

“Kahit hindi ikaw ang gusto ko talaga i-date.” She slowly steps away from me, a few inches apart. My eyes traveled on her face, starting to her eyes down to her..kissable lips.

 

Suddenly, as my eyes goes back to her eyes, the air changes. We are staring at each other.. and I did it. I kissed her. Just one lingering kiss. I don’t want to scare her and I am actually scared on what will be her reaction.

 

I broke the kiss and looked back at her. She is still staring at me, confused on what I just did.

 

“I-… I ” I stutter, darn it I don’t even know how to start.

 

 

“You don’t have to say sorry. Just leave.” Her coldness broke my heart into pieces. I won’t leave this room without explaining what I feel.

 
“I won’t leave until you listen to me, Maya.” I grabbed her arms and sincerely looked into her glassy eyes.

 
“I..I love you. I don’t care kung ayaw mong maniwala but I really do.”
I waited for her response..but she kept mum. I tried to read her thoughts but I couldn’t.

 

“I don’t know when and how it just happened, Maya.” I tried again, but still no answer.
“Hey, please say something.” I took both of her hands and pleaded. I might’ve been too fast for her but if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from any of these it’s that time is precious.

 

I couldn’t wait any longer to love her and make her love me.

 
“Leave.” That one word and the coldness of her voice makes me so scared of what lies ahead in the future. She’s pushing me away and I don’t know why. We were happy, I know she’s happy as well when we’re together. Why is she doing this?

 
“No. I want to know why are you pushing me away.”
“Stop!” She half-shouted. Her voice trembling. “If you’re only doing this because naaawa ka sa’kin, please don’t. Have you ever thought na yung naramdaman mo is not love? Naaawa ka lang, Richard. Stop doing this to me.”

 
Maya is trying to hold her tears. I am mad at the situation, I am so sure of my feelings how can she even think that way?
“Maya ano bang sinasabi mo? This is the first time that I felt like this.”

 
“Kaya nga! Hindi mo ba naisip na kasi nga I am dying, kaya nandito ka palagi kaya akala mo mahal mo ako pero naaawa ka lang. Nalilito ka sa nararamdaman mo.”

 
“Nandun pa din ba tayo? After these past few days akala mo awa lang lahat?? Maya, yung first time na binisita kita I admit, naaawa ako. But every single day that I am here, I am happy…then I fell in love. I am not stupid not to know the difference, Maya.”

 

She purses her lips while staring down. “Everything is just too fast, Richard.”

 

“Okay, I will not push you to love me in an instant. I will prove my love to you.”
I reached for her and embrace her. “I already booked a flight to Palawan. We’re leaving in two days. I will see you, then. I won’t be able to visit you in the next two days as I need to finish some work para makapagbakasyon tayo.” I tilted her chin so she could look at me.

“Napagpaalam na kita. Don’t worry, I will see you in two days time.” I kissed her head and quickly went out of her room not even taking a glance back.

 

I can’t even allow her to say no. I will prove to her how much I love her. She changed me. Whatever it takes, no matter how hard it will be, I will still love her.

 

And as I leave her tonight, I look forward for the next few days with her. A smile spreads on my face as I imagine. Gosh, I love this woman!

_________

The Dying Girl

Hi. Long time no post. HaHa 😉 I don’t know when I will update the other stories but I am planning to do so the soonest my imagination allows me to. BTW this new story will only have few parts. I was inspired by a movie I watched but I cannot remember the title. hahaha so enjoy reading. Sorry for any errors as I no longer have time left to edit this :))


 

 

The Dying Girl

 

The sun rays slip through my window early in the morning. I stirred as it hit my face and covered my eyes with my pillow. I don’t know what time is it already and I don’t care. All I care about is the throbbing pain of my head because of a couple of beers that I drank last night.

 

Parties. Girls. Those are what I love, says my mom and she’s right. After office, I would usually go out with my friends to party and drink. Some days would end up with a girl in my condo unit but not last night.

 

 

“Richard!!” roared my mom from the other side of the door while knocking. Yes, I went home last night since she texted me that she needs to tell me something important. However, I was still up until wee of hours as it is Friday night and I needed some stress reliever before my mom reminds me of the transition and when I will be taking over the company.

 

 

You see, I know I will be having a lot of responsibilities soon enough as my parents age and I am enjoying my life before that day comes.

 

 

Reluctantly, I stood up to open the door for her. “Son, you still remember that childhood friend of yours??”

 

Wow. This is the first time that my mom didn’t greeted me a good morning and even the topic is so random.

 

I looked at her and saw her eyebrows furrowed, lips tight, and arms crossed. My mom seemed worried and bothered by something. “Actually Ma, I am not sure who you are referring to.”

 

 

“Anak, please talk to her. Visit her try to cheer her up.” She is pacing this time in my room. The heck is wrong with whoever, is she??

 

“Ma, calm down.. relax.” I grab her by the shoulders and I was surprised to see her eyes brimming in tears. Woah. Wait a sec. “Ma?”

 

 

“You remember your tita Tere? My friend in Cebu? Tapos di ba yung anak nya ay kalaro mo noong seven years old ata kayo noon nung lumipat tayo dito sa Manila then nine kayo nung lumipad sila ng England?”

 

 

Okaaay… I am following. I think I remember that time but I was too young to even remember the face. I know tita Tere for I saw her pictures with my young mom way back when they were in college. But the daughter??

 

 

I think my mom noticed that I no longer remember so she explained further “Tere called me yesterday” she sniffed.

 

“Oh so nandito na sila?”

 

“Matagal na after her daughter graduated there and every time na I am outside for lunch, I am with her. And ayun na nga as I was saying, She called me crying saying incoherent words and there her dear daughter is sick.”

 

 

“Okay, mom. Everyone gets sick.” I Shrug, I mean come on I can’t even still remember the name of my childhood friend.

 

“RICHARD! SHE HAS LEUKEMIA.” And from that point, I saw my mom sobbing as if it dawned on her that she might lose a daughter.

 

 

“She’s so nice and is still young I don’t even know why and how this is happening, son.”

 

I am still standing there, shocked on the sudden news. Even though I don’t remember her, I somehow feel bad that her life would suddenly change because of that.

 

I embraced my mom tight while she’s still crying. “Please do visit her tomorrow after your work or you could just skip work and let’s go in Rizal together.”

 

 

Tomorrow…I have an important meeting with a CEO of another company that I cannot cancel plus it is Ryan’s birthday.

 

 

“Ma, I have an important meeting and..”

 

“Richard! Her time is very important. Please do this for me and for her. She used to be your friend. You can have parties some other days. If you cannot cancel your meeting then at least visit her after that meeting and no more buts.”

 

 

 _________________________________________

 

Tita Tere greeted us warmly in front of the door. You can already see the dark circles around her eyes. She surely didn’t sleep well for days. The news took off all the positive energy that she has the last time that I saw her.

 

 

“How are you?” my mom asked her while we were guided inside her enormous glass house.

 

 

“not good but what else can I do?”

 

“Pray and believe in Him, Tere.” Mom pats her shoulder to comfort Tita Tere.

 

 

Everything is quiet and it is awkward. I don’t know what to do and don’t know if Maya even wanted me to be here.

 

I hope she gets well.

 ____________________________________

“Pinilit ka ba nila na bisitahin ako?”

 

THANK HEAVENS THE WOMAN CAN TALK! It took her good fifteen minutes after our mothers left us alone to talk.

 

We were outside her room’s terrace, staring at the beautiful view in front of us. She did smile at me earlier when we were introduced. Then I suddenly remember those summer days when we will visit each other’s houses to play or swim. Good times. But we were both still young then, I can’t even remember the details.

 

 

“Uh.. Not at all.” I lied…a little. My mom did push me a little but I was also curious and would want to see what she looks like after all those years. She’s gorgeous by the way, and I even think that word is an understatement. She’s amazing, too bad she only have numbered days.

 

 

“At least do the dying girl a favor and don’t lie. I had a lot of messages and phone calls from persons I rarely interact with tapos they are acting as if super tagal ko na sila kaclose.” She rolled her eyes while saying this. “Like you. I’m sure you don’t remember me and now you’re here.”

 

Silence. I cannot even deny that what she said is true. People rarely care especially if they aren’t even friends with you.

 

“I’m sure you hate it.”

 

She takes her time before answering me. “I hate everything about it. Yung hindi mo masyadong kilala would reach out kasi naawa sila sa’yo. Then those who cared before, the one you’re closest with sila yung lumalayo because they don’t know how to handle the situation.”

 

 

“they aren’t real friends then.” I said

 

She nodded and kept quiet again.

 

 

 ___________________________________________

“Hi. I am watching When Harry Met Sally.” Maya greeted me the next day that I visit her. I don’t know why I am here again, and I am sure she was a little bit surprise as well that I am here.

 

I took a seat beside her on her bed and took some of her popcorn from her bowl. I don’t know what’s with girls and cheesy movies.

 

“Do you believe on that??” I ask her in the middle of the film. She’s been so consumed that she doesn’t even care about me.

 

After pausing the movie, she stares at me while chewing her popcorn. “Naniniwala sa alin?”

 

“That a man and a woman can’t stay as friends sort of thing.”

 

Eyebrows creased, lips pouted, damn she’s so cute. How can my mom didn’t reintroduce us much way more early? “I think so..my boyfriend, I mean ex.” I raised my eyebrows at this “we were friends bago naging kami. Siguro attracted na talaga siya sakin kaya nakipagkaibigan bago ako niligawan.” She said confidently with a hint of sarcasm, I laughed at her.

 

 

“So that boyfriend, I mean ex of yours, what happened to him?”

 

 

“Patay na.” she answered without breaking eye contact.

 

“He died??? Paano?” I asked, curiously. How can this beautiful girl’s life be as heart breaking as this?

 

“Pinatay ko na siya. Wag mo na ipaalala. Di na nagparamdam after nya malaman na I am sick. Sabi nya di daw nya alam if he can take it if mawala ako sa buhay nya kaya kailangan daw muna nya lumayo. Hayop di ba?” She chuckled and took a handful of popcorn before putting everything in her mouth.

 

“More of gago siya.” I can’t do this. I play with girl’s heart but I will never leave a girl when she needed you the most.

“Pabayaan mo na siya.” She took her remote control and resume on playing the movie.

 

It was good. I can’t even believe that I will be enjoying such classic cheesy film.

 

“Cliché pero maganda no? Hindi maganda how they started but still they ended up together. I think they are destined.”

 

“So now you believe in destiny.” I smile at her. I admire how idealistic she is despite of everything.

 

“Oo naman. Kung para sa’yo, para sa’yo. Kung oras mo na, oras mo na” she said, the last words almost inaudible. I can feel the sadness in her voice.

 

And again, I don’t know what to say.

 ___________________________________________

 

Sunday afternoon after I drop my mom and Tita Tere in the mall, I was left with Maya. I enjoy her company, we became friends in a short span of time. We talk about anything under the sun and our friendship somehow reminds me of Tuesdays with Morrie although I dismiss that thought instantly as I don’t want how it ended. Such thing won’t happen to us.

 is wearing a black mickey mouse shirt, maong shorts and her Disney vans. She looks cute and looks young for her age. “Where are you going?” I asked her after noticing that as I entered her room, she already took her sling bag and is eyeing me.

 

 

“WE are going out!” she emphasized the first word, excited with her idea of going out.

 

 

“No. you are not allowed to go out. You should rest.” I remind her of her mom’s instruction. It must have been hard not being able to go outside of the four corners of her room but rest is also important for her.

 

 

“Wag ka na KJ Mr. Lim please. Di ka ba naaawa sa’kin? Malakas pa naman ako pero di na ako nakakalabas ng kwarto ko. Saka isa pa, next next week pa start ng treatment ko, kailangan ko na makagala before pa ako mawalan ng buhok.” She smiled at me ever so lovingly, trying to make me say yes. Behind those lovely doe-shaped eyes, I can sense how scared and sad she is.

 

 

I should’ve said no, but I couldn’t. She needs this. I will give her what she want, just for today.

 

 

 

“Ano bang gagawin natin?”

 

“Gusto ko lang kumain ng ice cream tapos kumain lang ng kumain. Baka kasi next time di na ako makakain masyado. So pleaseeee.”

 

 

“Okay. Pero di tayo pwede gabihin.”

 

“YEY!!!” she jumped with so much joy. How can she be this adorable?

 _____________________________________

We made it inside the ice cream parlor that she likes. She’s been very excited smiling at everything she sees. Two weeks had passed since the last time that she went in a mall and it felt that it has been forever, she said.

 

While we are waiting for her order, we took a seat on a corner and I took the time to go and check my phone for new messages and emails. Mostly I get messages from my mom asking about us, I ignored it for now and replied a text message that I receive from a girl I met at the bar a week ago, before I started my daily visits with Maya.

 

“Hi Chard, when can we hang out?” the text message reads

 

“how ‘bout tonight? 😉” I replied. I will not deny that I miss those parties and nights with girls so might as well do it tonight. Anyway, I already had spent my time with Maya this afternoon.

 

 

“ok sure, your place?”

 

 

“ok. Will text you later.” I am looking forward for tonight! I smiled secretly then look at Maya who became quiet in front of me.

 

 

“What is wrong?” I ask her worriedly. She must have been feeling something. This is a bad idea.

 

 

“Gago talaga siya.” She murmured repeatedly, I followed her eyes and stared at a couple seated far away from us. They are obviously sweethearts because they would occasionally laugh at each other and would even offer a spoon of ice cream to the other.

 

“Ahh..kilala mo sila?”

 

 

“That guy is my exboyfriend, and the girl is her officemate. I remember her kasi lagi ko siya nakikita sa pictures nila every time may outing sila. Di ba siraulo siya? Ginawa pa niyang reason yung sakit ko.” She is turning red in anger. I want to punch the guy.

 

 

“Do you want me to punch him?” I suggested. I am so ready to do it if she will give me a go signal.

 

 

“No. Choose your battles. Di siya deserving ng oras at effort mo. Uwi na lang tayo.”

 

She stood up abruptly and left me inside. I took her ice cream and followed her after sending a quick message.

 

 

Hi. I’m sorry. Something important came up. Let’s just meet some other time.

 

Maya needs me more than anyone else. So not tonight, old self.